A Hungarian friend pointed out to me that different verbs are used in connection with money in different languages. Germany is serious about it: We earn money, so we have to be worth it. The French win money, sounds like fun to me! The Hungarians are searching for money. The question remains whether they will ever find it, as my friend remarked. Americans are straight forward: They make money. Sounds like a very pragmatic approach!
In Germany, anyone who made a lot of money in no time is considered nouveau riche - not exactly a positive attribute. Money must be earned through years of hard work to have peoples’ respect. In Cambodian society, the opposite is true. Whoever makes money in a quick and easy way is seen as clever and subsequently deserves the highest recognition.
Why am I writing this? Because women are particularly vulnerable to the question of whether or not they “deserve” to have money. Men usually find salary negotiations easier because they don't ask themselves this question. They do their job, they become more experienced, they demand more salary, period. For women, the mind racing kicks in: “I'd like a raise. After all, I've taken on a lot more responsibility. Well, I was also at home a few times because the little one was sick. I wonder what my boss will think of me if I ask for more money. And didn't she say the other day that the numbers in the company are not so good right now? What do I do if she refuses a raise? Then I'll look pretty stupid ..." Etc. etc.
Yet it's long since been proven what negotiation expert Jack Nasher so succinctly summarizes: “You don’t get what you deserve, but what you negotiate”. And to immediately nip in the bud the thought that some readers are probably having right now: No, it's not because women negotiate less that they earn less. In fact, they negotiate just as often as men, but are rebuffed more often. While 20 percent of men walk away from a negotiation with more pay, only 13 percent of women do. Because they are worse at negotiating? Nope. It's because of the unconscious gender bias that men have just as much as women. If a woman is demanding, like a man, she is seen as impertinent; if she is modest, as befits a woman, she is put off.
This makes it all the more important to negotiate one's own salary at regular intervals and to prepare specifically for these discussions.
Here are three simple but effective sentences for your next salary negotiation:
If your manager doesn't want to increase your salary because they don't recognize the value you add:
“What can I do to increase my salary?” Make sure you agree on measurable goals and a timeline for the next talk and send a friendly email to your supervisor summarizing these agreements after the talk.
If your boss doesn’t want to increase your salary while recognizing your performance (usually with excuses like “bad timing”, “nobody gets more at the moment because of the situation of the company”, etc.):
What other incentive do you have in mind?”
If your boss offers a salary increase that is not high enough:
“I would prefer (number).”
Important note in all three cases: Let the sentence work for you. Do not add anything once you have said it. It's best to practice these sentences at home in front of a mirror or with a friend so that you get used to saying them and they come across naturally in the real life situation.
Foto von Alexander Grey on Unsplash
